Holy shit is marriage hard. 

I don’t care how much you love the person you’re with.

Our kids used to watch this Food Network show, Cutthroat Kitchen, where chefs were thrown various curveballs or impediments throughout a cooking competition. They’d have to cook blindfolded, or wear boxing gloves, or whatever. The trials got harder as the game progressed. 

That’s marriage. 

It’s easy at first. “Here’s a pristine kitchen and lovely ingredients. Start cooking.”

Now, take on two car payments, student loans, and a mortgage. Not hard enough? Tether a couple kids to your leg. And here’s a bigger job with more responsibility, so you can pay for all the music classes and gymnastics meets you have to chauffeur. 

Still coasting? Let’s saddle you with 20 extra pounds of weight around your torso and limit you to 6 or 7 hours of sleep for good measure. Best of luck finding the time, energy, or vanity for the gym – or sex.   

Now squeeze in some college visits. Oh, and watch out. Your kids have friends who are drinking and smoking weed already. Don’t blink. 

Struggling yet? Here’s some aging or dying parents for you to contend with. Want an even bigger job with more responsibility? Enjoy the salary bump for a minute before we smack you upside the head with a recession. Oops, you need a new roof.

What do you mean you don’t cuddle every night, go on weekly dates, and cruise to the Caribbean every year? You’re married! That’s what you’re supposed to do! 

Don’t believe me? Look at all the romantic dinners and getaways your friends are bragging about on Facebook.

Actually, don’t believe that. I guarantee those people have at least one, if not two, helpful sets of grandparents nearby – or an army of paid caregivers most of us can’t afford. No fair.  

The vast majority of married couples are like us. Like you. Working to stay in love with the only person who loves you enough to tolerate you at your worst. Going to sleep every night beside the lone individual who has the moral grounds to murder you in your sleep. 

That’s marriage. And as hard as it is, my life would be impossible without it.  

Maybe you’re willingly single or happily divorced and it works. I’m happy for you. 

Me, I’m good. 

Here’s what we’re seeing this week:

Facebook can make a lot of arguments for political ads on the platform, but the wishes of its users is definitely not one of them. Mark Zuckerberg earned his billions this week, getting his ass lit up by a firing squad in DC while trying (unconvincingly) to defend Facebook’s policy of permitting false political ads. Ever the real-time researchers, we studied consumers’ attitudes on the topic (I even wrote the study all by myself like a big boy). Not only do an overwhelming majority of people want Facebook to screen and prevent false political ads, they want them to ban political ads on Facebook altogether. It’ll never happen, for sure. But let’s at least be honest that it’s a commercial decision and not a righteous one.  

Because politics is unavoidable, partisan tribalism finally seems to be rearing its ugly head for Chick-fil-A. Perhaps no brand in our database has enjoyed higher net favorability over the past 6 years than Chick-fil-A, even as the company has taken occasional heat for its right-of-center disposition. Those warm and fuzzies started changing dramatically among liberal Dems over the past 6 months, however, and my best explanation is that it’s a function of the election cycle ramping up. People are beginning to nestle further and further into their political tribes. Whether this manifests itself at the CFA cash register or not remains to be seen. But it could. 

One-third of people still aren’t planning to get a flu shot this year, which is slightly better than last year. I’ll avoid the temptation to get preachy about this one. Sixty-eight percent of U.S. adults have either already had their flu shot or plan to get one soon, leaving 32% who would rather risk it (and everyone around them). Interestingly, pharmacies are creeping up on doctors’ offices as the most popular place to do the responsible thing and get a flu shot. Seriously, just do it.

Speaking of pharmacies, CVS keeps making the right moves to win young people with their SmileDirectClub partnership. We’ll just call it SDC – but it’s a company that offers invisible teeth aligners as an alternative to expensive and ugly braces. Now, CVS is planning to push the product in hundreds of “Smile Shops” and the idea has huge potential with Gen Z and Millennials. While they’re the groups most likely to be unaware of the service, intent among Zs and Ms who’ve heard of SDC is near 20%, which is really good on our adoption curve. 

Americans are super-concerned about cybersecurity until you ask them to actually do something about it. A whopping 91% of U.S. adults are at least somewhat concerned about cybersecurity threats. They should be. The problem is that a ton of people still don’t use any kind of security software on their computers (especially Mac users). And only 12% of people use a password manager, even though passwords are like the most hackable thing ever. Lots of room for improvement here.  

We also looked this week at eroding brand loyalty in the razor category and a plateau in the order-by-mail razor space; the uniquely-different profiles of Netflix, Hulu, HBO, and Amazon Prime’s original content lovers; and the steady and slow improvement in favorability toward Ford cars.

Finally, your most popular questions this week:  

Yes, I’m a proud, card-carrying Gen Xer.

Hoping you’re well.

JD