In case you missed the Emmys, Jimmy Kimmel and Matt Damon continued their kind but confusing feud, and it was wicked funny. I’m free-at-last to use “wicked” in a professional blog post, because after all, it is Matt Damon we’re talking about. He’s from Boston. I’m from Boston. We’re basically twins.
Similar to Jimmy Kimmel, there are some quirky correlations surrounding Matt Damon fans. One may even make you cry. Let’s start there, shall we?
1) People who have never heard of Matt Damon are more than 5x as likely to be under the age of 18. Remember that time he out-smarted MIT, or when he pulled off an elaborate theft with the utmost perfection? They don’t. Is this further proof that the younger generation is hopeless? Quite Possibly.
2) People who love him are more likely to go the movies at least once a month. Given that he is in almost every movie ever, and once you see him in a movie you can’t help but love him, this one definitely makes sense. No further explanation necessary.
3) Remember that graduation speech Matt Damon made about the importance of fighting global warming? His fans do, too. We found that those who love him are more likely to buy environmentally friendly products. They are also much more likely to be concerned about climate change and the environment than those who don’t like him.
4) 43% of Matt Damon fans are also fans of Calvin Klein. I can’t think of anything appropriate to say here, so let’s move on.
5) Last but definitely not least, and probably most expected, is that Ben Affleck fans are more likely to love Matt Damon.
And now, you can proceed with your day knowing that it’s been forever since Good Will Hunting premiered, and that the younger generation is doomed. On the plus side, we may actually be able to travel to Mars soon (if you’re rich) and live out Matt Damon’s role in Martian.